


Ghost Beach

by orphan_account



Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-03-08 23:30:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18904867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "What's up, fag?" Jordon remarked, grinning as he walked past Danny to get to the kitchen. The singer was sprawled out on the couch, scrolling on some kind of social media. He sighed, looking up from his phone.---When Jordon won't stop bullying Danny, who's fallen into a depression, what happens to the stressed, mentally exhausted singer?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Time for some angst; I've never written a scene this dark so I'm sorry if it's bad 
> 
> TW on this story: SH, suicide mention, depression, self neglect
> 
> \- B.Vinyl

"What's up, fag?" Jordon remarked, grinning as he walked past Danny to get to the kitchen. The singer was sprawled out on the couch, scrolling on some kind of social media. He sighed, looking up from his phone.

"What do you want?" He mumbled in reply, seeming tired. He wasn't in the mood for Jordon's jokes that day.

Truth be told, he'd had a rough night. Danny had been struggling with his mental health over the past few weeks, although successfully hiding his suffering from the rest of the band. He hadn't slept properly, and had been pushed to deal with his dark thoughts all night.

"Woah, someone's grumpy," Jordon rolled his eyes, laughing quietly to himself. "What happened? Tried to drown yourself in vodka again?" 

He didn't mean it. It was all his dark sense of humour, but sometimes it was just a bit too much.

"Jordon. Stop it." Matt spoke up from where he was sat, giving Danny a smile when the other had mouthed a thank you. "That isn't funny." 

"Oh, lighten up," He shrugs, sitting next to Danny. "He doesn't care, he's just putting on the depressed singer act," 

"Fuck off," Danny mumbled under his breath, his grip tightening on his phone. Jordon was really getting to him today. However, the rapper hadn't seemed to have heard him.

"Aren't you, Dannyboy?" 

He flinched at the nickname. Charlie knew fully well not to call him that. He had a long past of abuse, and that was the nickname he had been called by the worst of the worst. Feeling tears prick his eyes, he harshly wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve, repeating the phrase slightly louder.

"Fuck off, Jordon." 

"What was that, bitch?"

That was it. Danny snapped, dropping his phone and turning to Jordon, looking like he was ready to punch him. "Fuck off, Jordon, I swear to fucking god," He snarled, glaring at the other. He could feel the angry tears falling down his cheeks as he let his gaze fall.

"Are you.. crying?" Charlie asked gently, frowning.

"I.. I'm sorry.." Danny mumbled, grabbing his phone and backing off to his bunk, ignoring his bandmates. He climbed in, shutting the curtain behind him. Today was not a good day.

Not at all. 

Burying his face in the pillow, he let himself cry. It wasn't long before the dark thoughts began to flood his mind like a relentless tsunami. Why did he bother? What good was he to this band, anyway?

Jordon seemed to hate him. Matt was probably sick of being a parent to him. Johnny never spoke to him. Jorel was always too busy to talk, and seemed to be annoyed by him.

Dylan was the only one who seemed to care enough to talk to him, and even then, Danny felt like a burden.

Gripping the pillow, Danny curled up, letting his silent cries shake his weakened frame. Since he had fallen back into a depression, he had lost quite a lot of weight. His emotions became unpredictable. He was forgetful. Wasting away due to the thoughts that plagued his mind. 

"What's the fucking point?" He whispered, sniffing gently. That was a good question. What /was/ the point? Danny shook his head. He didn't want to go down that route. Not again.

It was too late for that now, though. 

The rest of the day passed by in a blur of worried murmurs outside his bunk, and sometimes rolling out to go to the bathroom. Danny hadn't eaten all day, but that didn't worry him. He had allowed his mind to take over. 

It was time for him to go back to the bathroom for a shower - normally, he wouldn't bother when he felt like this, but after Jordon's comment regarding his ex-partners, he felt.. dirty. 

Entering the bathroom, he shut and locked the door behind him. It was only a small room, but it was enough. He couldn't complain. It was good for living on a bus with five other guys and part of a sound crew. 

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirrow, he frowned, analyzing his face.

His hair was a mess, sticking up in messy spikes, although this only brought out his tired eyes more. Black bags rested under his eyes, showing the world just how run down and exhausted the singer was. He looked like he hadn't shaved in days - in fact, he hadn't. All in all, he just looked tired. Older.

He looked how he felt.

Danny sighs, taking his shirt off and dumping it on the floor, deciding to pick it up later. He kicked it into the corner so it was out of the way, not wanting to trip. That would just add to his misery. 

Turning back around from the corner, he froze, eyes connecting with something he would never have dreamed of touching in this state before.

His razor.

That explained why he had so much untamed stubble.

Hesitantly, he picked it up, turning it over in his hands. He slid the blade out of the plastic, holding it between his fingers.

He knew what he wanted to do, but, he didn't. Not until he had sunk down against the cold tiles of the bathroom wall. "What the fuck am I doing?" 

Danny watched as the cool metal glided over his skin, leaving a trail of red. If this was his paint, then his body was the canvas. He frowned. It felt nice. Calming.

He did it again. 

And he continued to, until he snapped out of his trance, freezing in his place. Blood dripped off his arm and onto the bathroom floor, leaving a pattern of splatters. It was morbid, yet, it made him feel so much better. 

He felt stupid for doing it on his arm, though. Although, that was the least of his problems. He soon realised that he felt quite light-headed. It wasn't a problem to him, really - he was happy watching the liquid roll off his arm. 

It didn't take much longer before there was a light knock on the door, and Danny was snapped back out of his own mind.

"Danny? Are you okay?" A voice called. It was Jay.

He tried to reply, but nothing came out. It was only at that moment Danny realised he had really fucked up. He was so exhausted from the continued blood loss, that he had been barely able to move.

"Y..Yeah.." He managed to mumble, hoping that they could heard him.

They couldn't, and all he could do was listen as he heard the panic rise in Jay's voice.

"He's not replying.."  
"Get the spare key,"  
"But.."  
"Go!"

He couldn't tell who the voice belonged to anymore, but he felt comfortably warm. He guessed it wouldn't hurt to let himself drift. 

"Danny.." A quiet voice called. Yet, it gradually got louder.  
"Danny!"

His peace was soon interrupted when two very, very cold hands connected with his bare arms. He groaned, trying to pull away. Opening his eyes slightly, he made eye contact with Dylan.

"Dyl?" Danny mumbled, opening his eyes a little more to be able to see his friend. He glanced down, expecting to see his art, only to see bandages. In fact, he then realised he was in a bunk. 

"Are you okay?" Dylan asked, clear concern in his voice. For someone who was normally so laid back, he was the most panicked. 

Danny shrugs. "Yeah, I guess."

"You scared the shit out of me, Daniel." Dylan said quietly. "What the fuck was that about?" He asks gently.

He remembered Danny's first run in with a depressive episode. It had luckily not ended as badly this time. 

"I.. I don't know.." 

Dylan sighed. "Okay, well.." 

"I'm sorry," 

His apology went ignored, instead being followed by a question.

"Can Jordon come see you?"

The realization of what happened hit him like a tonne of bricks.

"N-No. No, I don't want to see him.".

Jordon felt like he had been stabbed in the chest.


	2. You'll show 'em

It was a few days before Danny finally gathered the energy to crawl out of his bunk and socialize with the rest of the band. He had appeared at other times to play shows, fighting through the pain with a smile. He lied when he was asked what the bandages were for, claiming he had sprained his wrist.

Lying through his teeth. 

"Hey.." Danny mumbled, coming into the main bus area and sitting next to Dylan on the couch. All seemed okay. No one acted any differently, asides from keeping an eye on him. 

"Oh, well if it isn't our special fucking snowflake," Jordon muttered, shooting Danny a glare. He was in a horrible mood that day, and when he was grumpy, he was blunt and unfiltered. 

"Hello, Jordon," He replied, averting his gaze. It was a mystery as to why Jordon was confused about Danny not wanting to see him. He didn't want to deal with the rapper's shit. 

At this point, he wished he'd just stayed in his bunk. He guessed that wouldn't have happened anyway- they had a show that night. Possibly the most exciting one of the tour, actually.

And yet, Danny felt nothing except numbness. 

He was losing grip. Jordon's relentless comments were dragging him down to rock bottom. He fought, trying to hard to escape the metaphorical grip he was held in - but it wasn't possible. The rapper was dead set on pushing Danny as far as he could.

Jordon thought it was funny.  
Danny did not. 

It was around two hours later that they arrived at the venue. With a couple hours to spare in sunny L.A, Jorel (accompanied by Dylan, Johnny and Matt), decided to go off on an adventure. 

Danny had decided to stay back to prepare for the gig, and to calm home on his own. Until Jordon claimed he was going to stay back too, to babysit Danny. The singer had hoped it was a joke, but it wasn't. 

"Hey, Dannyboy," Jordon smirked, going out of his way to bump into Danny. "Woah, watch out, man, you hit me," 

With a sigh, Danny tried to pass him. He wasn't going to take any more shit from him, or anyone. He was done. 

"What, you can't take a joke?" The rapper remarked - he was really making an extra effort to piss Danny off today. 

"Please, leave me alone," He sighs, looking at Jordon with am exhausted look. 

"Why? So you can go and cry in your bunk?" The other replied. It was getting slightly more personal now. It sounded less like a joke. "Fucking attention seeker; I bet that's why you're doing this - because no one likes you," 

"Jord-"

"So you have to make up for it by faking for sympathy," He snapped. 

Truth is, Jordon had a lot of his own problems. It was classic for him to be the one to joke, so he used that to cope. Until it became too much, now hurting instead of helping. But he dealt with it. He had to. In his mind, that justified him picking on Danny. 

Of course, it didn't. 

Danny was upset, though. Jordon had a habit of saying the things that really stung. The things that hit him the hardest.

Oh, but he'd show him. He was sick of being treated like shit, and mentally, he was at the end of his tether. 

Danny would show him.   
He'd show them all.


	3. Whispers in the Wind

Jordan had fallen asleep in the few hours after the argument he had with Danny. He had laughed it off and decided to crash on the couch and regain energy, but as he woke up, he realised something.

Everyone else was back, but where was Danny?

He got up, heading to the singers bunk. As much as he made it out that he hated the dude, he still wanted to check on him. He didn't really hate him at all..

It was the opposite, really. 

The rapper knocked gently. "Danny?" He called quietly. There was no response. Gently pulling back the curtain, he looked inside.

No Danny. 

"Huh.. weird," He mumbled, heading out to the front of the bus. "Yo, guys, do you know where Danny is?" 

"No idea," Jay replied, barely looking up from his phone. His answer was followed by a few more negative answers. 

"Maybe he's asleep in Dylan's bunk?" 

Fucking Dylan. While Jordon didn't hate Danny, he did have a disliking for Funny. He felt like Dylan had taken his chances with Danny away, leaving him bitter. He knew it wasn't Dylan's fault that the singer chose him, but to Charlie, it felt like it. 

"Oh, maybe," Jordon said. Well, he decided not to worry. Jorel was right. Danny was probably with Funny. "How was the town?" 

"Good," Jorel mumbled. He wasn't in a responsive mood, but to be fair, he never was when there were few hours before the gig. 

"We didn't do much - just walked around until Jorel got bored and dragged us to subway," Johnny chimed in from the corner. Jordon laughed quietly to himself. Typical Jay. 

 

It was soon only two hours before their set. Danny still hadn't shown up, however, Dylan had just come out of the bunks looking incredibly confused.

"Hey, where's Danny?" 

"What do you mean where is he? I thought he was with you?" Jordon replied, frowning.

"No, I've been on my own since we got back, dude," 

The other froze, looking at the others. Matt spoke up first, placing his phone on the table. "Someone try calling. Maybe he went on a walk and forgot about the show?" 

"Yeah, he has done that before," Jay added, still not having looked up from his device. 

"Oh okay, yeah," Jordon let himself relax a little bit. Danny can't be too far then. They could always pick him up later. He watched Matt attempt to call their singer, panic rising in his chest when he saw a frown arise on their drummers face.

"Well, he isn't picking up; it says his phone is off," He said, shrugging. "Jordon, can you try?"

"Yeah, yeah.." 

It seemed like forever before Danny picked up the phone. Jordon tried calling what seemed like a hundred times before the singer picked up.

"Danny?" 

The rest of the band went silent, waiting with baited breath.

"What do you want?" Danny mumbled. It was easy to tell that he'd been crying by the way his voice cracked. Wherever the singer was, it was very windy, too. 

"Where are you?" Jordon asked, a concerned tone to his voice.

"What does it fucking matter to you?" The other snapped, sniffing quietly. 

"It's two hours before the show and.. well, we're all worried," 

"Don't be," 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, Jordon, I'm sure," 

The rapper frowned. Danny was acting weirdly.

"You gonna tell me where you are?" 

A laugh could be heard, despite the shitty connection in the call.   
"I'm at the beach, Jordon, it's my favourite place. It always has been," He paused for a moment. "Can I talk to Dylan?" 

"Yeah, of course.." 

Jordon handed the phone to Dylan, giving him a small smile. It seemed like things were going to be okay.

"Hey, Danny, you alright?" 

"Hmm.. Hey, Dyl, remember this place? I'm at our spot, it makes me remember how much I love you," 

A picture was sent. It was of the sea. Their favourite view was from the top of the rocks, way up high. 

"Yeah, I do - that's a pretty far walk from here though, baby," Dylan smiled to himself. "I love you too,"

"I know," The singer laughed quietly. "I just.. I wanted to hear your voice, just for one last time,"

"Danny? What do you mean?" The smile was quickly wiped off his face. This couldn't be happening.

The singer didn't seem to be listening anymore.

"Oh, the view is so nice up here. I just wanted to look at something beautiful - I had to choose something like this," Danny laughed to himself. "I wanted this beach to be the last thing I saw," 

"Danny, what the fuck?" He gestured to Matt to call the police, feeling himself choke on the anxiety creeping in his chest. 

"I love you, Dylan, don't you ever forget that," Danny said gently, smiling weakly to himself. 

The line went dead.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Dylan bolted out the bus, not giving much thought to telling the others what was happening. He was going to get there if it was the last thing he did. 

It took him less than ten minutes to run down to that beach. Their beach. The place that he had planned to propose to his lover. His Danny. He had already bought the ring and everything. 

"Danny!" He yelled, once he spotted the figure atop the rocks. Running was starting to become difficult, but he pushed ahead, determined to get to the other.

Time stopped for a moment then, as he reached the top, as he held out a hand to his love.  
His eyes met Danny's briefly.   
And then, he was gone.

Just like that.  
Without so much as a whisper, or a blink.

All that remained was a note, pinned to the post, with it's pages blowing in the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for breaking your hearts.
> 
> \- B.Vinyl


	4. It's Cold By The Edge

Dylan fell to his knees by the edge. He didn't dare look over. 

He hadn't cried. He hadn't done anything. Hands trembling, he let his body fall against the fence, nausea creeping it's way up his spine.

He was numb, and in shock.

The voices of his friends fell on deaf ears as he let the nausea take over, soon throwing up forcefully. Not bothering to move, or wipe his mouth, he just let himself zone out. It was as if nothing existed except him and his memories. Memories of his love. 

Danny.

Oh, poor Danny. 

Vaguely aware of Jordon in front of him, he shut his eyes. Consciousness was slipping out of his grasp. It was just too much for his body to take; he was shutting down from the shock. The ambulance had arrived moments after he finally let reality slip.

 

Jorel had walked to stand beside him, mind racing. He didn't believe that this was real. Despite it all, he couldn't help but blame himself for this. He had never been there for Danny. He hadn't cared when the singer had gone missing that day. Harshly wiping away the tears that had begun to fall, he walked back toward the ambulance, explaining what had happened to the EMTs. It was all he could do.

Matt was focusing on Dylan, tearing his mind away from the harsh reality. As the oldest, he felt he needed to care for the others before himself. 

It wasn't long before Dylan came to, opening his eyes to find Matt crouched in front of him. "Where's Danny?" He whispers. He wanted the drummer to tell him thag his lover was on a walk, or preparing for the gig. That he had just had a horrible nightmare.

But as he looked up to see the ambulance. To see Jordon staring into nothing. Jorel fighting back the tears by the police. To see Matt's worried face, and Johnny trying to calm down and collect himself. He knew that he wouldn't like the answer.

It wasn't a dream.

Ignoring the others, he let a shaking hand fall on the note in front of him. He took out the pin, holding it in his hands.

Maybe it was about time he read it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one - the next chapter may take a day or two.


	5. Ghost Beach

With a heavy heart, Dylan began to read. It was time he read the final words Danny had left behind.

" I don't know what to say.

I thought it would be easy, writing, but it turns out, writing the note that you leave behind as you leave the earth is a tricky one. 

I'll start with this.

Johnny,

Don't let this hurt you, man. I know that's useless saying, but I can't let it be. I didn't mean this to hurt you in any way. I didn't mean for this to be something that would haunt you.

I guess I just want you to know that I believe in you - please, keep fighting. Don't give in.   
I know you struggled too.  
Stay strong.

Matt,   
Please look after Dylan for me - I know it's hard on all of you, but it'll hurt him the most. Make sure he's safe. Let him know that I'm passing my flame to him.   
And Matty? Smile - please.   
I need you to do that for him. 

Jorel,

I hope this helps you, Jay. This note. You've struggled to find closure in the past, and I don't want to add to that. I'm probably right in guessing that this won't mean a lot to you. We never really talked in the years of H.U - but maybe we can fix that, when we meet again.

Jordon,

I don't think I owe you an explanation.  
You fucked me up, and I snapped.  
You made me realise there was comfort in the panic.

Dylan,

Fuck, where do I start?

I love you, baby. I really do. I know you're angry. You have the right to be, this isn't fair on you at all. But, my time has run out now - I guess I was only meant to be a short moment on this planet. I burned too bright, and now I'm fading. 

But, I'll be happier now. I'll be peaceful, right? It's like sleep. Just, longer. 

Remember the day we met? Right here. Jorel introduced us to eachother, and we hit it off immediately. Faster than I did with anyone else. Even Matt. We spent the whole day together, joking around and talking about the band.

I miss that. 

Maybe I should have fought for longer, but now you're reading this, it'll be too late. I wanted to marry you; to grow old and have a family with you. To watch countless sunrises and sunsets as we lived and smiled together. But I guess sometimes, life just has other plans. 

In my bunk, if you look in the third drawer. There's a ring. I was going to propose to you with that ring. I suppose you could take this as one, but.. it's late. I'm sorry I let you down. I hope you don't forget the love we shared, and that it reminds you of us.

Why I did it? It got too much. Everything was so heavy. It all stacked up, and I couldn't let go. The anxiety told me everyone was laughing at me, and I just.. lost my grip. I think it was Jordon that gave me the final push. It was overwhelming. Every day, I would be tormented, bullied and hurt. Finally, I can get away from that. So here I sit, at the edge of our favourite place. I wanted my last view to remind me of you. You're all I ever wanted. 

God, I would give up the world for you. And I guess in some fucked up way, I did. 

It isn't fair for me to apologise to you. This is unforgiveable, but, if it adds any comfort, know I'll be waiting for you, if there's another side to this mortality. I promise, baby. 

When you move on from this, please. Find someone who treats you right, and know at the end of it all, I'll be waiting for you.

I won't take back or regret my actions, but I know I will regret not spending more time with you.

Do what you love,   
Love what you do,  
Don't let anyone bring you down.

I love you. I don't know how much more I can say it. But please.  
Know this. Remember this.  
I, Daniel Murillo, will always, always fucking love you, Dylan.   
Forever yours,  
Danny x "

Dylan clutched the note to his chest, feeling his tears begin to escape. "Danny.." He whispered to himself. Once the emotion began, it wouldn't end. 

He leant back against a rock behind him, tucking his knees up to his chest. Still holding the note, he let himself cry, his entire body shaking as he hid his face in his hands.

Alone and broken, he stayed there. The others were too busy talking to police to take much notice of him, not that he was complaining about that. His heart felt like it had been stabbed repeatedly. It might as well have been. Dylan soon tucked the note into his pocket, deciding he'd show the others later. He didn't have much room for rational thoughts outside of the whirlwind caused by Danny's death.

It was hard for the others to watch him, too. It wasn't difficult to tell that he'd be completely inconsolable once he passed a certain point. 

Opening his eyes for a moment, Dylan took in his surroundings. Then, he made the mistake of looking over the edge.

His heart felt like it stopped when his eyes met the sight of Danny, his one and only. His love. His best friend. 

The blood was unreal, a thick layer spreading over the sea-beaten rocks below. His body was twisted at an unnatural angle, yet, he looked peaceful. Dylan felt his stomach turn, and he quickly pulled himself away from the edge, falling from his half standing position to his hands and knees. He was throwing up again, violently. The scene, mixed with the emotions racing through his body and brain had overpowered his body. 

All he learnt that day, was crying and vomiting at the same time was difficult. Wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve, his arms gave way, and as his body slumped to the floor, he felt the world fade out around him. 

Falling into darkness, and fading away into the safety of his mind. A world where he still had his precious Danny by his side. Where he wouldn't have to live without his love. 

He liked that, and knew that he didn't want to come out of that state. Warm and safe in Danny's arms. Comfortable in the night.

Dylan knew now that Danny still loved him, even after all this. Even when it didn't feel like it. 

This was a ghost beach, and Danny was it's first victim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end...


	6. The Other Side

It was a hot summers evening, the sky clear of clouds as birds flew above. The atmosphere was calm. Safe. Loving.

Squeezing his hand, Danny tugged Dylan along behind him, laughing quietly as his lover stumbled in the sand. "We're here!" 

"A beach," Dylan smiles, glancing down at Danny.

"Yeah - it's my favourite place, and I thought you'd like it," He grins, "Y'know, seeing as you said you liked the ocean," 

"Yeah, I.. I love it," 

He really did. The cliffs surrounding the area were tall, covered in trees and rocks, edges clearly worn away by the waves. It sounded like a dream; the ocean lapped at the sand, crashing up against the large rocks that lined the edges of the bay. The sun setting behind them gave the whole place a purple glow. 

But, he couldn't love the beach more than he loved Danny. 

A smile spread across Dylan's face as he watched Danny by the water. The singer's bleach blond hair was slightly ruffled from the ocean wind, clinging to the edges of his face. His coffee brown eyes met with the others, and Dylan could swear he felt his heart melt when a smile spread across his lover's face. Fuck, he was so in love.

He took Danny's hand, returning the smile. "So, this is our beach?" 

"Yeah,' Danny nodded, leaning his head against the rapper's shoulder. "Our beach - our getaway," He smiled to himself. 

"I like that," Dylan commented, squeezing his partner's hand again. He was glad to have Danny there with him. 

It took him by surprise, to feel warm lips connect with his. Dylan let his hand wrap around Danny's waist as he returned the kiss, smiling against the other. He was happy. Truly happy. It seemed all too soon as Danny pulled away. 

"I'll see you soon, okay?" 

"What do you mean?" Dylan frowns. His smile was fading slowly. 

"Don't cry over me, love - I promise we'll meet again," He whispers, holding the taller man's face in his hands. He pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I love you, Dylan," 

"I.. I love you too.." 

"Goodnight," 

"Wait.. please don't go, Dan--"

~~~~~

Dylan wished he never woke up.


End file.
